When a Birth Photographer Puts Down their Camera

When the camera gets put down: moments rarely documented in a birth story

I cannot accurately describe to the fullest, the positive energy and empowerment in this room in one moment. You know how when you have a child sometimes you think to yourself: wow I had no idea how much I needed this child to become the best version of myself?

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I cannot tell you what an overpowering realization it is to me that these two women here make me feel this way. 

When I met Lisa (Lisa Raynor Coral Springs and Boca Raton Childbirth Doula) my mentality and philosophy of my work was almost 180º from what it is today. My confidence level, my energy level; everything in my entire life as a momtrepreneur was so different. It’s not that this level of different was a bad thing, but I was stuck in that post partum 4th trimester for far too long, and Lisa saw it immediately, but more importantly, it’s what she saw that I didn’t see that made the tremendous impact on my life: she saw what I could be. 

And isn’t that a sign of the greatest life coach? Precisely. That is what Lisa has been to me since May 2017. The most unexpected blessing that fell upon my life and I am utterly grateful that this woman, wise beyond her years, so intuitive and remarkable, saw in me what I had lost sight of. 

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In comes Kat. (Dr. Kathleen Vigo, Painless Pregnancy) I had no idea what this woman would do for me when I first met her. Even after learning extensively about the amazing work she does in physical therapy with her pregnant and post partum patients, and after recommending her to a dozen of my clients in a year, I still remained so blissfully unaware and unknowing of how powerful her work is.

Who could have possibly predicted that this soulful, stunning individual would come to my home for a 9 month follow up (following our previous physical therapy sessions), literally 10 days before giving birth to her daughter, and heal me of six years of trauma?! I didn’t even know until the night before my daughter's 3rd birthday, barely one month after Kat's visit, when I revisited the slideshow I had made of cell phone pictures from my second child's birth and realized - I was no longer feeling the Pandora's box of the negative range of emotions I have been feeling for the past 6 years of motherhood. Instead, I was feeling gratitude, relief, joy, self-awareness; I felt as though I was for the first time in six long years that had been riddled with emotional trauma from two very off-course labor and birth experiences, instead I was suddenly feeling ONLY full of joy for the first time ever. I shocked myself.

But instantly I was in doubt. The 60mph thoughts racing through my head distracted me from realizing this was all Kat's work from a couple weeks back. I started to doubt and ask myself would I still be as passionate about my work now that my trauma had vanished? I had always thought the foundation for why I was passionate about my career was because I was holding onto two traumatic births.

Then I wondered, would all these positive feelings go away after this celebration of the third year of life for my baby girl passed?

I waited and waited, but saw that none of this came to fruition.

My life had changed.

My perspective had changed.

My heart and soul had healed.

So when Kat went into labor with her second child, there was no doubt in my mind that I would have to give it my all to be present in this moment for her. In a room with two women who had completely changed my life, who had empowered me to become the best version of myself. With one of my favorite OBGYNs in south Florida, Dr. Feldman (of Omega Women's Care)

The pictures above show a story of what happens when a birth photographer puts their camera down. In the first moment, Kat reached out for me to hold her hand during a contraction while her most amazing doula, Lisa Raynor supported her with affirmations and physical support. And in the second moment I was waiting to receive her placenta to help package it for transport. These pictures show why my relationships with my clients mean everything to me in my work. It is a realization and transformation of the artist unraveling, that it may have been my experiences with my daughters in the form of emotional trauma that inspired me to change what purpose I did my work for, but it is my relationships with my clients that is why I continue to work in this most fulfilling field of supporting women through their pregnancies and births as their birth story artist. 

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