Birth is Not Limited to the Medical Field

Birth is Not Limited to the Medical Field. Birth encompasses the spiritual and the emotional and the psychological bond with your baby.

Birth is Mental Health.

One of the hardest moments for me to see as an advocate for mental health is policy standing in the way of immediately holding your baby.

Policies to weigh and measure baby, to hook up monitors, devices, rechecking of data and numbers all the while this tender soul that just entered into the world wants nothing more than to be feeling the warmth of your body, to be feeling the beating of your heart, to be feeling the vibrations of your voice. I’m not a believer in administrative routines and policies preventing immediate contact.

And I’m not a fan.

And so while I say nothing because it’s not my space to interfere, it’s hard to witness when a wise child that has entered into this world has to wait for that connection, whether it is waiting 15 minutes or an hour, or in my case with my younger child it was 8 hours,

in my opinion, if there is no emergency life saving intervention needed at present, policy and administrative routine can take a back seat.

The only way this will ever change

is if wise parents forego the fear of offending anyone and forego the fear of being an inconvenience,

and if parents begin to take up space in this world,

take up the space you’re entitled to as a human being with rights,

a human being who matters more than a set of administrative policies written in a manual.

Birth is not limited to the medical field.

Birth encompasses the soul the spirit and mental health.

We should no longer worry about statements such as “you’ll get to enjoy your child your whole life” because that statement has little importance in the present moment that belongs exclusively to you and your child.

My Journey with Polyhydramnios, C-sections and Loose Post Partum Belly Skin

⚪️⚪️ SELF REVEAL ⚪️⚪️

I’m kind of an open book. Too many things were kept from me by society about motherhood, so I am a proponent of transparency. I think many women can relate to this statement, because how many women can honestly say that they knew much about pregnancy, labor, birth and post partum BEFORE they had their first child? Unless you’re a labor and delivery nurse, a labor doula or post partum doula, a midwife or an OBGYN, chances are, you, similarly to me, didn’t have much of an education about motherhood before you became a mom for the first time to your own child.

A few weeks ago I finally took a deep breath and I went to see a revered specialist (who I still highly admire btw) in the plastic surgery field because I wanted to be “fixed”

Going from being somebody who easily fit into any piece of clothing, never worrying about size labels, never second-guessing my health, to suddenly finding myself with pretty serious self-body image issues after polyhydramnios with two pregnancies... This picture is my body TODAY (btw I’m not underweight! ❌ I’m just inhaling and my ribs say hello!)

Here I have been taking pictures of women in the most compelling moment of their motherhood experiences, truly believing and telling them they are radiantly gorgeous — never did any of their bodies ever make me feel they weren’t stunning. I never looked at weight as a negative. I always saw radiant beauty.

But here I was with a self-body image problem.

I hated my body. Well, my stomach. What polyhydramnios did to it, it became unrecognizable to me. It didn’t matter how much weight I lost after my second pregnancy, the stomach was still there. So I went to a plastic surgeon asking them what they would need to do to “fix me” so I could go back to being beautiful 

what I didn’t expect was for that visit to be the moment I would fall in love with my postpartum body.

Someone telling me that they would take away the skin I’ve lived in for 33 years, the stupid dragon tattoo I got when I was 21 that over these years became a symbol of my badass motherhood that I didn’t even realize — until they were telling me that with a tummy tuck, it would have to go. 99% of my abdominal dragon tattoo would have to go.

I walked out of the office a changed woman.

I never in a million years thought I would want to keep this skin, find my pp body beautiful & attractive. 

Fast forward a few weeks, I’m laying on my living room floor this morning, taking a photograph specifically to share with women out there who might have body image issues after their pregnancy.

POSTPARTUM IS THE DIVINE FEMININE. 

It took me 6 years, and I finally believ

Beautiful Mom of Twin Girls Expecting a Baby Boy

I remember how Dayna and I met. It's not the way I use to meet mommy clients four years ago, and that's why I love it. It made me reflect on how we evolve as women and as mothers and I wanted to share the entire story behind it with you.

I have been a birth photographer for four years, and I could not even imagine 4 years ago how my career would unravel as my daughters grew and as I delve deeper into the birth world as a birth worker.

Dayna and I met through our local community, our girls (her twins and my almost 6 year old) spent the past year going to VPK together in the best preschool at Kids Academy in Coral Springs, FL. One of her girls and my daughter Kate were in ballet the entire year, and her other day and my niece were in the same VPK classroom together. Through the year we got to know each other as mamas in the same community and build a relationship that I had never imagined I could have with moms! As my girls grew and I changed everything about the way I ran my business, the way I approached our lives as a family of four, I began to develop relationships just like with Dayna, with other birth clients. Dayna was one of my last birth clients before I made the huge leaps and changes that have grown my community and my work to the beautiful, organic, living vessel that it is today.

Three and four years ago, to find birth clients, I'd post my photos on facebook as much as possible, with a 2 year old toddler at home. I rarely had the chance to blog. I rarely had the chance for anything because I had a toddler at home and was a work from home mommy! 

I didn't know my community very well. I had made some mommy friends going to the playgrounds, parks and south Florida beaches with my daughter Kate, but I was so new to the field of birth that I didn't know many doulas or midwives, obgyns or labor and delivery nurses at all. I was just starting to dip my feet into the birth world.

Fast forward four years, so much has changed and I have evolved.

About a year and a half ago, I realized that birth was really my passion.

I also realized I was very overwhelmed.

Trying to balance (keyword trying!!) motherhood to two kids under 5 years old as a stay at home mom, run a household, AND run a full time photography business was leaving me really overwhelmed. 

About one year ago I realized what I had to do. I met Lisa Raynor, my dearest friend and doula here in Coral Springs and in Boca Raton, and she helped me with the final push to bring my career goals to fruition. She told me to try out full time preschool.

I was so nervous about this. I was juggling being a full time stay at home mom to two young kids, a full time job, all my maternity, breastfeeding, newborn and family photography clients in addition to my birth clients, my marriage, my home, and I was so nervous how we would pull off putting two young kids in full time preschool. How could we afford it?

That's when all the big changes fell directly into place.

Let me tell you, it was terrifying.

Change #1: 

I put both of the girls in full time preschool.

It didn't happen over night. I started with only VPK hours for Kate from 9-12pm and Emma was going two days a week from 9am-12pm. Slowly I started adding hours, and then days. By the end of three months, both of my girls were attending preschool from 830am-5pm five days a week.

I cannot tell you how much guilt this brought me. Having been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years while juggling a work from home business, I felt SO guilty that I was putting my kids in full time school. So many mommies can do it both, I told myself. I am so embarrassed and ashamed that I am saying I can't do it, I don't want to do it. 

Over the next 6 - 12 months I would start a healing journey to learn to not compare myself to other mothers, what they do, what their approach towards life and parenting is, and what their life looks like. I would learn that it's not my business to worry about what other mothers and women are capable of, it is only of importance for me to focus on what I want out of my life journey.

Change #2:

I gave up all photo sessions besides birth photography.

This was an absolutely terrifying leap of faith.

Family photo sessions, Maternity and Newborn Photography, and Breastfeeding photoshoots consisted of 50% of my years earnings. 

You might be thinking "and she gave it all up?"

Trust me, I WAS THINKING IT.

Let me tell you why I did this change in my life. I decided that if I was going to be paying for two children to go to full time preschool every week, all of those hours at home while they were at school would be dedicated to focusing 110% on my birth clients and my birth photography and birth films. This is after all, my passion, I realized. And the investment I make on the BEST preschool in Coral Springs needs to pay off on me investing all of my time and energy into growing my relationships with my birth clients everyday, every week, every month.

Trust me, I still love all the other sessions I use to do. And it broke my heart when I had so many families reaching out to me after I had slowly started my transition, asking for family sessions, breastfeeding sessions, and I had to turn them away and recommend one of my colleagues.

But as the weeks and months passed, I started realizing that I had made the best decision I ever could have. I went from juggling 120 families every 12 months to working intimately with 24 families. I got to really know every single birth family I was working with, I would remember hubby's name as I walked into labor and delivery. I'd remember that older brother was about to turn 3 years old next month. I'd remember that they just got a new puppy. These details (and many more intimate details ranging from fertility issues, loss, difficult pregnancies) became so vital to me to learn and remember. I realized in the past year that my true passion is not necessarily in birth photography. Rather my true passion is supporting, educating and empowering the women I work with, and building my relationship with them.

The change I had implemented thrust my business into a whole different world that I had never known before. I started having more time to dedicate to things I had never had a chance to even do. I started blogging. I LOVE writing. I've been a writer since I was in elementary school, I wrote my first book when I was 8. Being able to pour my soul into something I am so passionate about made my career so much more dynamic and fulfilling.

I finally had the time to network.

I have met so many absolutely phenomenal astonishing individuals in my community in the past twelve months, I did not even know these incredible human beings and specialists in the birth world existed, and now I have such an esteemed honor of calling them my friends. In the past 12 months I have deepened my relationship with Lisa Raynor, my doula soul sister, I met Martha Lerner, owner of Zenmamalove.com who my maternity/newborn/family photo clients from the past had boasted about for years, I got to meet the most amazing expert in the fertility world, Dr. Scott Roseff of IVFMD, who has a heart of gold by the way and works so closely with women and their partners/spouses to build healthy new families.

I had the privilege of building a close relationship with my favorite birth providers in the birth world ranging from Nurse midwives to OBGYNS to licensed midwives. I learned about baby nurses and how crucial they are to the family in the 4th trimester through meeting and growing close friendship with Mercedes Cabrisas, owner of South Florida Baby Nurse and Jennifer Shapiro, owner of Blissful Baby Nurse and Newborn Services.

I met Jackie Polsky, of South Florida Psychologist Associates, specializing in the post partum mama, Natasha Chamely, owner of Baby Love Spa  in Margate, FL, it was such a pleasure to meet and become friends with the amazing Susan Winograd, who owns Pelvic Rehab.com and works closely with post partum mommies and the entire family, as well as Dr. Moshe Winograd, who is a phenomenal post partum and loss psychologist at Coastal Behavioral Health, and became friends with Carly Tokar (Tokar Family Chiropractic) and Gena Bofshever (Dr. Gena Chiropractor). I got to experience first hand chiropractic care through Dr. Elaina Gill, post partum physical therapy from the amazing Dr. Kathleen Vigo of Painless Pregnancy, and Laura Knecht of Good Little Sleeperzzz helped my toddler and now almost 6 year old finally get on the right routine for a proper bedtime (south Florida's BEST pediatric sleep consultant!)

I've also had the immense opportunity to work with the amazing doulas at the Orchid's Nest, the phenomenal labor and delivery staff at Boca Raton Regional Hospital. I had the pleasure of meeting and growing a wonderful partnership with the OBGYN team at Omega Women's Care. 

It's just been an unreal year.

I cannot believe that my closest friends are all in the same birth world that once was a lonely place, now is filled with the same amazing faces I see but in and outside of work. 

Stunning Images of Midwife Delivering Baby for Two Previous C-Section Mama Has us Stunned and Seriously in Love

Words from the mama: 

"I am still in shock and awe at what God can do. My pregnancies have been very difficult, from Aaden's loss to complications in Brooklyn's birth (both ending in c-sections). I always dreamed of having a birth without complications, where I could just enjoy my baby. This was it.

I had the best support and birth team I could ask for. Everyone was patient with me and my concerns and considered my history. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you to Lisa Raynor my doula, Courtney McMillian my midwife at Boca Midwifery, Paulina Splechta my birth photographer and birth film maker, and of course my husband David. I literally could not have labored nor survived this pregnancy without you."   - Jocelyn

Boca Raton Regional Hospital, Boca Raton, Florida

When I first met Jocelyn, I was so emotionally tied to her and excited for her and also a little bit anxious. I am a two time cesarean mommy myself (neither was planned) but I never had an amazing birth team the way Jocelyn had for this pregnancy, so I didn't know what to expect would happen at her labor and delivery with such an amazing team.

I was so excited for her to experience a vaginal birth and to meet and hold her baby immediately, and I knew it in my heart that this could only happen with Boca Midwifery. They understood her medical history and they cared for her the entire pregnancy, but it was a delicate journey Jocelyn had been on, from experiencing the loss of one of her children and complications with her daughter Brooklyn's birth, and I was anxious to witness the birth of baby Riley. I didn't know if we would witness her having a vaginal delivery or if we would have to go into the operating room. I feel the entire labor and delivery staff was rooting her on at Toppel Family Place (The labor and delivery unit of Boca Raton Regional Hospital in East Boca [off of Glades Road, just east of I-95]). 

A lot of birth workers uncover a deep passion for their work due to their own emotional and personal history, and with me, it is completely true. Originally, I wanted to test the waters four years ago when I photographed my first birth. But once I captured that birth for my client, I knew this is where my heart belongs and its become so much more than photography over the last four years. 

In all this time, four years, I had never witnessed a vaginal delivery after TWO CESAREANS. I had attended many VBACs (vaginal delivery after cesarean) with Boca Midwifery, Women's Health Partners, Dr. Skeete down in Ft Lauderdale, and vbac home births with midwives Gelena Hinkley, Sandy Lo, Mary Harris. But I had in all this time never seen a mommy successful deliver a baby vaginally after having two previous c-sections. And the reason I haven't before seen a vbac after two c-sections is not entirely that the trial for a vbac after two csections failed with previous clients. It's not that at all.

It's that often times the mommys who have had two csections stay with their provider who automatically schedules a repeat third csection for them with their third delivery. These moms are simply not aware of the option to try for a vbac after two c-sections. No one has even told them that its physically possible to achieve. And what the benefits to having a vbac are instead of scheduling a repeat cesarean. Most of the vbacs I have documented in my four years as a birth photographer here in south Florida have been moms who had a c-section with a practice (sometimes traumatic, physically or on an emotional level) and change practices, hoping for a more positive, empowered and supported experience for their subsequent pregnancy to a practice heavily experienced in achieving safe and successful VBACs. Many of my VBAC birth clients with Boca Midwifery have exactly this story. 

As Jocelyn's entire birth team stood around her during her final pushes, I thought to myself, "this is happening, this mama is going to meet her baby right now"

I felt the tears begin to swell up in my eyes, I tried to hush them and focus on capturing this incredible moment. I stood near mom's shoulders, making sure that her midwife was blocking any angles that would prevent Jocelyn from being able to share photos from her birth story with her family and friends, I looked up at Jocelyn and her husband David, they were smiling at each other, at their doula and midwife, at me. Their doula, Lisa Raynor, was proudly beaming a smile back at them and at me. Baby nurse Donna was eagerly waiting to meet their sweet baby, also wearing a proud smile for mama. Her midwife, Courtney McMillian, was focused and positive and their nurse Peggy knew this moment was about to happen.

This moment would contribute to the shift in the change of the world's view of birth. A successful vbac after two cesareans for Boca Midwifery, for the labor and delivery staff at Boca Raton Regional Hospital, but most importantly, a footprint in the history of birthing women, showing them, that with the right support and birth team for your pregnancy, skilled vbac professionals who have a great deal of patience and success rates, a vbac after two csections is possible.

Knowing this fact, it put chills on my back. 

Knowing that maybe someday, I too could experience a vbac, after my two unjust csections with previous providers and birth teams who had failed to support and encourage me in the ways I needed.

You can watch the film of the birth of Riley below:

Uploaded by Paulina Splechta on 2018-07-05.

Jocelyn's two-time cesarean scar and baby Riley's teensy feet