I have been terrified of this post for almost 4 years.
From the moment my second daughter was born, I knew I did not want to hide forever.
A few weeks ago, my niece saw my stomach for the first time when my oldest was hugging my stomach (both of my kids routinely hug my belly and thank it for carrying them) and my niece said with an innocent and genuine surprise "why do you have a grandma stomach?"
…and I felt so much shame that I have hid it for almost 4 years.
That tight belly skin has become the only non-shocking belly for my niece, along with all the young ladies and mothers of the world.
I've known that I want to share my journey as a 2x polyhydramnios mama with you all a long time ago.
Crap, I'm crying.
I haven't shared, not because I thought someone would judge me or be an asshole to me,
in fact I already knew years ago that all of you would be nothing but proud and loving if I did this, but as I took these pictures today the only words that came to mind about my belly were "disgusting monster"
I think that's why I've hid in the shadows all these years covering my stomach with tunics and tshirts.
But today I need to get past that for myself
for my daughters to see that even though I'm crying while I am writing this
and posting these pictures
and this is causing my ego pain to share this with you
I am being brave.
I am being brave for the 1% of pregnant moms who have polyhydramnios who forever hide in the shadows.
I am being brave for all the women who hide their bodies as if they were shameful.
No matter how I felt about myself in the past or will in the future, I won't hide anymore. No more curated posts, only the real stuff.
The real stuff that will stop tearing women apart about not being fucking perfect after giving life to a baby.