It starts with my husband about to leave work so I text him "DO NOT CALL ME RIGHT NOW I am cleaning a major mess!!"
I had a plan to have dirty hands for quite a while, probably the length of his drive home from work, so answering the phone with dirty hands was definitely off the table.
Husband: "oh jeez what is it? is something of mine broken?"
me: no answer
Meanwhile I am sticking kids in the tub, rinsing off a screaming toddler who so does not like water.
I go to their carpeted bedroom across the hall from the tub, with my fullest package of seventh generation baby wipes, and spend thirty minutes scrubbing green POOP out of the carpet.
Someone had the brilliant idea to disrobe themselves including their poop-filled pull-up and explore, and stomp, and smear.
Meanwhile kids drain the tub and fill it with COLD water. I forget I left the a/c at 74. I look up and see my little blue-lipped eskimo toddler standing in the tub, complete with chattering teeth, welping out"maaaaa-meeee" I feverishly run across the hall to the tub, immediately swaddle her in three towels in record time while she's still chattering, as my husband walks in from work, I fill him in, he says, you need to get the towels off and do skin to skin. and somehow, just somehow I did not want to forget this ridiculous afternoon so I ran and got the camera as he looked at me like I'm crazy.